Today’s not a good day.  It’s not a bad day either.  The tears are just flowing easily today… in a good way… sort of.

In my last post, I shared my plan to rent the house.  Yesterday, I showed it to a really lovely couple and they liked it.  They gave me a cheque for the last month’s rent already.  I move out of my house August 1st.

That’s the awesome/scary part.

The part that has me in absolute knots is that my son is leaving home (for school) in two weeks.  I always knew this was coming.  This was never going to be a surprise.  BUT, I was NOT ready to be such a mess.  I’m so grateful he’s not moving far away.  He’s going to Ottawa.  I’m in Ottawa all the time.  (Happy Dance.)  I’m really excited for him to be on his own – for him to flex his big-boy (ok… man) muscles.

He’s been packed for a week.

It’s been me and him since the day he was born.  Sure, there were other people there throughout.   But mostly, it was me and him always.  When you have a child at 18, you end up growing up together.  The relationship he and I have is not typical.  And I thank the universe every day that he turned out as good as he did.  :)  I’m super-proud of the man he is shaping up to be – even though I still remember bringing home from the hospital, watching him sleep and not believing he could be mine.  Where did the time go?

I texted him a few minutes ago, making him promise me that we would see each other often.  He replied “I won’t just stop talking to you mom.  You’re my best friend.”  Who wouldn’t cry like hell if their kid said that?  So, I should just chill out right?  Blow my nose, clean the streaks of mascara off my face and send him out into the world with as much love as I possess.

Jacob is a very smart, mature and deep kid.  He told me in the same thread of messages “This will open new doors for you too!”  And he’s absolutely right.  He knows I’ve been waiting 19 years to be able to travel like it’s nobody’s business.  And now with him out on his own and the house rented, I’ll be able to do that.

I’m still allowed to be sad.  And I’m going to let myself be sad and to shed as many tears as I need to.  That’s what moms do when their babies leave the nest.  Then I’m going to let it sink in that this next year will be AWESOME!!!!!  For both Jacob and I.

On a happier, less serious note, I’m making a g-string as a gag-gift for a friend for a bachelorette/shower thing.  It’s hilarious!  I can’t wait to be done.  I’m making it up as I go and it’s turning out better than I expected.  Photos to follow.  :)

Cheers to all the moms out there who are going through/have gone through/will go through what I’m going through right now – we’re all awesome!

It’s not going to be a long one this morning because I’m heading to the SPA! Yes! A little girl day! I’m so excited. My sister and I are taking my mom to Le Nordik for Mother’s Day. I have my first massage scheduled since I have benefits at work. Crazy eh? It’s going to be an awesome day.

Last night, I had dinner and hit a yoga class with one of my oldest friends. We had a great time. I don’t see her enough.

Oh, and at yoga, a few of the girls caught sight of my “chakra” yoga mat bag and I now have an order for three. Not a bad night!

So, the changes…

Jacob and his girlfriend rented their first apartment this week. They move July first. Although I was prepared for this, I was prepared for August. July is only 20 days from now. The kid is already packed and ready to go. He tells me every day how excited he is. Although I’m very excited for him to start his life, I’ll miss the shit out of him. Even though we don’t get to see each other much with our respective schedules, I know that he’s here. It’s going to be weird! BUT, I’ll see him often ’cause I’m in Ottawa every week anyway. I’m not freaking out. Yet.

On another note and perhaps a more scary note, I’ve put my house up for rent. Crazy you say? Absolutely. Thing is, as much as I adore this house, it sucks up all of my monthly income. As a result, I haven’t been traveling – which is probably the thing I want to do the most. Plus, the cost of schooling and living in Ottawa is high. I thought of selling the house but honestly, that option made me want to vomit. So, I figured I can rent it and go live with my mommy. Hahahahahaha. I know that sounds ridiculous – 36 years old and moving back home. But, I’m not. I’ll be living between Ottawa and Cornwall (when I’m working). I figure I can do this for a year. At least. Maybe two if it’s working out.

The house will still be mine so I’m not filled with the kind of panic that makes you go pale and clammy all over every time you think about that thing. This will give me the financial freedom to help Jacob as much or as little as he needs and (my new favourite phrase) to travel my ass off.

If for some reason, this place doesn’t rent, there are other options. Fingers crossed option one works.

I’ve had “freak outs” since I started this whole process.  But I went out and got some travel magazines – they help me stay focused.

I’m still not finished with the monster truck. Can you believe it??? Me either. I am “Procrastinator Extraordinaire” on this one. I should get some kind of prize. Hahaha.

I’ve actually been so preoccupied and busy that I haven’t knit/crocheted much. I made those baby hats from the last post (which were a big hit), and this one:

The spinning guild also had their annual retreat in White Lake on the first weekend of May. It’s always a hoot. I really spun my arse off while I was there. I finished spinning all of that aqua blue I got at the NAV a few weeks back. I haven’t plied it yet because I wanted to bobbins to rest a bit. I managed to get all of my round-robin-roving spun up too. It looks very nice but it’s white. I’m going to put it in a Kool-Aid bath and see what happens. I just have to find time to do that.

What a charming place!

Here are photos of the girls:

We did a lot of laughing.

What else…. Really not sure. It’ll come to me when I’ve published this post though. It usually does. Oh well. That’s it for today.

If I’m going to the spa, I need to go shave some stuff.

Have an awesome week/weekend-end!

You’ll have to forgive me if this post is short.  I’m just getting off my last night shift before our SPINNING WEEKEND!  I’m excited, tired, and a bit stressed.  I haven’t packed a single thing.  I’m going to get up in 5 hours, pack for my spinning weekend in White Lake with the spinning guild girls (+my mom cause she’s super-special) and pack for the two-day conference I’m heading to the minute I’m back from the spinning weekend.  Damn!  I need to focus a bit on better time management.

So, in the last few weeks, I’ve worked on the monster truck some.  I finished the tires.  They’re hilarious!  They look like giant, floppy dumbbells.  I’m still not finished.  But, I choose to look at it this way:  I’m closer than I was last week.

I also started a pair of socks.  I don’t NEED more socks.  I lost count at 30.  Seriously right? Every couple of weeks, when I do laundry, I have enough hand-knit socks for an entire load.  Can you imagine having enough wool socks for a whole load of laundry all to themselves??  I don’t care.  I’ll never stop knitting socks.  Maybe I should start making them for sale.  There’s an idea.

I also made a bunch of baby things.  My “client” always sends me pictures of things she likes on Etsy.  I look at them and try to replicate those items the best I can.  Let me know how I did.

Etsy links:

Boy’s Football Hat
Girl’s flower hat

Mine:

I think they turned out really perfect.  I’m feeling very smug after making those.  I used NO pattern.  I’m not a crocheter but I just made these up as I was going.  I think that makes me very smart, clever and creative.  I’m totally tooting my own horn right now.

I also started (and finished except for sewing) a baby dino hat.  It’s so freaking adorable, I’m not sure I can stand it.  I got the pattern on Etsy. It was super-easy.  I’ll post a picture when it’s all done.

For now, I must sleep.  I’m pooped!

Have an awesome weekend everyone!  I can’t wait for mine.