Today’s not a good day. It’s not a bad day either. The tears are just flowing easily today… in a good way… sort of.
In my last post, I shared my plan to rent the house. Yesterday, I showed it to a really lovely couple and they liked it. They gave me a cheque for the last month’s rent already. I move out of my house August 1st.
That’s the awesome/scary part.
The part that has me in absolute knots is that my son is leaving home (for school) in two weeks. I always knew this was coming. This was never going to be a surprise. BUT, I was NOT ready to be such a mess. I’m so grateful he’s not moving far away. He’s going to Ottawa. I’m in Ottawa all the time. (Happy Dance.) I’m really excited for him to be on his own – for him to flex his big-boy (ok… man) muscles.
He’s been packed for a week.
It’s been me and him since the day he was born. Sure, there were other people there throughout. But mostly, it was me and him always. When you have a child at 18, you end up growing up together. The relationship he and I have is not typical. And I thank the universe every day that he turned out as good as he did. :) I’m super-proud of the man he is shaping up to be – even though I still remember bringing home from the hospital, watching him sleep and not believing he could be mine. Where did the time go?
I texted him a few minutes ago, making him promise me that we would see each other often. He replied “I won’t just stop talking to you mom. You’re my best friend.” Who wouldn’t cry like hell if their kid said that? So, I should just chill out right? Blow my nose, clean the streaks of mascara off my face and send him out into the world with as much love as I possess.
Jacob is a very smart, mature and deep kid. He told me in the same thread of messages “This will open new doors for you too!” And he’s absolutely right. He knows I’ve been waiting 19 years to be able to travel like it’s nobody’s business. And now with him out on his own and the house rented, I’ll be able to do that.
I’m still allowed to be sad. And I’m going to let myself be sad and to shed as many tears as I need to. That’s what moms do when their babies leave the nest. Then I’m going to let it sink in that this next year will be AWESOME!!!!! For both Jacob and I.
On a happier, less serious note, I’m making a g-string as a gag-gift for a friend for a bachelorette/shower thing. It’s hilarious! I can’t wait to be done. I’m making it up as I go and it’s turning out better than I expected. Photos to follow. :)
Cheers to all the moms out there who are going through/have gone through/will go through what I’m going through right now – we’re all awesome!