I know that sounds pretty funny but, seriously. I heard one of his quotes today: “It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves.” If you think about that for a second or two, it’s his pretty way of saying that we all hold the key to our respective destinies. Kind of huge right? It blows my mind a little bit. What does that mean exactly?
The last year and a bit, for me, my destiny has been to travel. I’ve been to so many places: Chicago, California, NYC, New Orleans, Las Vegas, Jordan, PEI, and lastly, Peru. Some big trips and some small trips. Loved every one of them for their own special reasons.
BUT, I also got lost somewhere. The reasons for this is not important. What is important is that I see it and know I need to do something about it.
I realized that I now need to learn to stand still. It came to me when the thought of not having plans to travel for the week I have off in the beginning of December terrified me. A whole week off, wasted. Can you imagine? I couldn’t. Until someone pointed out that my fear was not rational – a little nudge towards a wake-up call. So, here goes: a week off with no plans to travel. What to do instead?
I started knitting again in a big way when the Christmas orders started coming in. And at some point, I fell in love with my creativity again. There’s something exciting about thinking of something in your head and being able to make it happen with your hands and some yarn. It makes me feel like a genius! Being creative makes my heart smile.
Yoga. I need to get back to yoga. I feel more connected to my body and my soul when I keep up a regular practice. I rolled out my mat this morning for the first time in months. Boy am I tight all over!! Amazing how little time it takes to undo how far I had come and how strong and supple my body had become. This morning, I felt like a brittle, and tight old lady. Hahahah. It’s a start though.
I’m also thinking of giving knitting lessons or workshops in the new year. I’ve never really taught before and I fear I will lack patience. When something is so natural to me, I find it difficult to comprehend that it is not easy for everyone. I don’t want to scare people away from knitting or crochet because I suck at teaching it.
I also want to start publishing more patterns (see above). I’m always making things without patterns but very rarely write anything down. I’m going to start. A few extra $ will help me when I start traveling again.
Tomorrow is December. That means Christmas is coming. I’ve hated Christmas since I started having to share my son for the holidays (1999). It’s just not the same when you can’t wake up with your child on Christmas morning. In 2011, a friend of mine gave me a beautiful (and hilarious) memory for Christmas. This year, I really want to make it feel like Christmas again. I put up a tree for the first time in eight years. I also plan to put thoughtful gifts for the people I love under that tree. I’m very excited. I am also scared it won’t be what it am hoping it will be.
Shakespeare had another really good one: “Expectation is the root of all heartache.” I will try to remember this as I navigate the holidays.
In case I don’t write again until the new year (which is very likely if I’m being realistic), Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone.